'Uncle' Bernie (Madoff) and the Jews

From Newsweek: Read on and you will understand why Joseph Epstein is simply one of the best (and funniest) American writers.
Sample: There is something deeply trivial about golf that is unseemly for Jews, who have traditionally been accustomed to taking themselves seriously. Whacking away at a little ball, hoping, at the end of four hours' effort, to arrive at the finish a stroke or two fewer than the previous time one wasted a morning at this game—no, no, no, I'm sorry, but this is all wrong for Jews. Our grandfathers and great-grandfathers didn't undergo pogroms and the struggle to evade conscription in the tsar's army to come to America for their descendants to put on peach-colored pants, spiked Nike shoes and chemises Lacoste to appear on the first tee promptly at 8 a.m. A Jew should be studying, arguing, thinking, working, making money, contemplating why God has put him through so many trials. A phrase like "dogleg to the left" should never pass his lips. If Madoff's depredations will bring a few Jews in off the links, perhaps that is not entirely a bad thing.

Legendary Israeli Rock Band Churchills - scrapbook

Some pictures recently discovered of the legendary Israeli rock band Churchills (also known as 'The Churchills'). They are of interest (to me and my kin at least) because the cute guy in the middle with longish hair is my uncle Stan Solomon, who's recently come back 'home' to Montreal after spending most of his life Stateside. Growing up in the late sixties and early seventies I remember receiving records (vinyl) in the mail from Israel that had been either performed, written and/or produced by Uncle Stan. Of course, the significance of these recordings completely escaped me at the time. What did I know from Israel, or music for that matter, I was six or seven. Uncle Stan's stint with Churchills (and Israel) were shortlived, though even as he went on to illustrious careers in the shmatta business and then as an art dealer in Florida, he maintained producing, recording and musical management activities on the side with aspiring young bands. For years, the old Churchills records gathered dust in a cardboard box. I only became aware of the gold I was harbouring when, in 1990 I was in Israel and wandered into a Tel-Aviv record store called HaOzen HaShlishi (The Third Ear). I was greeted by huge posters of my uncle and his bandmates wallpapering the inside featuring a photo from the Churchills debut album in which my uncle flatteringly appears in his underwear. I asked the manager why the display? He answered that the eponymous album had just been 'rediscovered' as a lost classic and one of Israel's most important albums. It had just been re-issued in CD format. Of course I bought a half dozen copies to bring home and distribute among family. When I told the store manager that Stan was my uncle and I had an original copy of the album he offered me twenty-five CDs in exchange. Turns out that the vinyl is a much sought-after rarity fetching significant sums among collectors. Now, the news from Israel via two of uncle Stan's former bandmates (Florida-based Rob Huxley who also played with the legendary British band The Tornadoes, and Israeli Miki Gavrielov, who went on to a major solo career, Churchills guitarist and bassist respectively,) that a small reunion tour scheduled for the fall 2009 is set. Uncle Stan is already warming up his vocal chords. He'll need to work hard. Besides the three decade hiatus, warming up anything this week when Montreal is expecting temps of -25 will be tough.

SNOW ANGELS

The snow fell and fell and I only thought
Of the dreaded shoveling to be done,
Counted the seconds as flakes piled-up, fought
With myself, asked how long should I wait? One
Two, three, four hours, or more before we’d got
Too much for my unsteady heart - a ton.

While I fretted, from up and down the street
Hooded faces exploded through doorways,
Like rebels from dark forest hideaways;
Kids with their mouths double-bound in scarves, feet
Booted; they lined up along my walkway
Straight as a firing squad, counted to three,

And all at once fell backward, dropped flat, played
Dead: Arms and legs flapped like convulsing geese
Blown clean from the sky (but not quite deceased);
Then they lifted themselves like spirits, gazed
Down at the shadow imprints they had made
Where their departed bodies had once laid.

A Christmas favourite...

The Rent Collector? Apparently. At the Westmount library anyhow. The staff came up with the inspired idea to spruce up the old tree creatively by inviting library patrons to help decorate it with miniatures of their favourite books. As mentioned in this article from The Westmount Examiner my novel is now hanging from an evergreen bough between loops of tinsel. It's deliciously strange to think that a story about a deeply religious orthodox Jew is hanging as a Christmas ornament. But it wouldn't be the first time that the book was chosen as a Christmas holiday favourite (more specifically "Best book to give your Jewish in-law trying to navigate Christmas dinner with the goyim.") Oh holy night!

ZOO by Arleen Solomon Rotchin

I

I'm very excited to announce the publication of ZOO (Shoreline) the debut novel by Arleen Solomon Rotchin who is well-known in Montreal and Palm Beach Florida as the author of a bestselling memoir titled Sam's Will (Shoreline). She's better known around my house as 'Mom' and 'Granny'. In Sam's Will, Arleen told the story of her ten year battle (personal, financial and legal) to settle the estate of her late father, Montreal garment-pioneer Sam Solomon, who was also, not coincidentally, the model of a character in my novel The Rent Collector. Sam's Will made the non-fiction bestseller lists in both Palm Beach and Montreal. Zoo is somewhat of a departure, though not really. It will be enjoyed by the same folks who loved Sam's Will (and there were plenty) because it also tells a story about money, greed, excessiveness and human failing, and does so with the same quirky, funny style and sharp observation that Arleen has become known for. In Zoo, a photographer named Chela tells the uncanny, timely story of her neighbour and friend Geena who's just been convicted of tax fraud and stock manipulation. Meanwhile, as Rome burns Nero plays; Geena throws extravagant parties for her Palm Beach cohort and they behave like the sky isn't falling. Ultimately, Geena can't avoid jailtime and from prison writes letters to Chela declaring that she has had a revelation that she is the victim of The American Dream. During the summer Chela returns to Montreal to teach a group of kids in crisis how to use cameras (the old-fashioned kind with f-stops and shutter speed settings) and the two stories begin to shed light (photography-lingo pun intended) one on the other. Highly recommended.

FAD
by Tamar Black-Rotchin (age 9)

It was popular.
Children everywhere had it.
And later it died.

BULLY

She is a bully.

'Loser' is my new nickname.

I will get her back.

Chip off the old block

HALO

by Tamar Black-Rotchin (age 9)

What a sweet angel

A halo above her head

But then she grew up.