A Poem Written For You

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For Annetta, March 28, 2023

I live in my head

It can't be denied

In the story I tell myself

I am both narrator and protagonist

When I talk I am mostly

Talking to myself

When I fight I am mostly

Fighting with myself

When I laugh I am mostly

Laughing at myself

The loop is closed

With a hole in the center.

And yet there are moments

I can be drawn out

Like water from a deep well

By earthquakes and disease 

By famine and floods

By bombs dropping 

On apartment buildings and hospitals

By elementary school shootings 

The incomprehensible cruelty 

Human beings inflict daily 

On one another 

The unnecessary hardships

And arbitary misfortunes people suffer

We witness without turning away.

Also, the beauty of the world

Pulls me out of myself at times

The drum of thunder and flash of lightning 

The colour and scent of blossoms

The melody of birdsong in spring

The moist soil of a forest trail

Sunshine cutting through branches

Venus, Jupiter, Saturn and Mars

I must always point out

In the cold black vastness of night.

The example of your kindness and care

Does it to me too

The lunch I eat at my office desk

The phone call to your mom

Every morning at 8

The homemade soup you ladle out 

Into plastic containers

Sealed with rubber bands

The breads and biscuits you bake 

Too much for just us.

And my love for you

Brings me out of hiding

Makes me want to be fully present 

To listen, really listen

Without formulating an answer

Before you've finished speaking

Without evaluation or judgment 

Because no one knows

If they are getting it right.

 

From the day we met

We've been making it up  

As we went along

A path littered with give and take 

Like this poem 

Written for you

About me.