This poem seems to divide neatly into two halves. I love the first half, it has a lovely flow; it shimmers with wisdom and an appreciation for the present moment. You might consider ending the poem with the word “now”. The second half I like a bit less, the term “ miracle” seems too non-specific to me, and the cinematic metaphor isn’t as compelling. Nonetheless, I am a big fan of your poems which draw upon your deep appreciation for Eastern philosophy and religion. I think that’s an important part of who you are.
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This poem seems to divide neatly into two halves. I love the first half, it has a lovely flow; it shimmers with wisdom and an appreciation for the present moment. You might consider ending the poem with the word “now”. The second half I like a bit less, the term “ miracle” seems too non-specific to me, and the cinematic metaphor isn’t as compelling. Nonetheless, I am a big fan of your poems which draw upon your deep appreciation for Eastern philosophy and religion. I think that’s an important part of who you are.
Done. Thank you.
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