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I'm always checking the tennis scores
these days.
Maybe it's because
I remember my parents
playing it for a time.
They were in their 40s
and tennis seems to be a game
folks at mid-life like to take up
like golf,
except unlike golf you need two
in tennis, it's a couples game,
which may also be
why they say 'love'
and it means you're losing.
My parents took up tennis
as a last ditch attempt
to find something in common
after the kids had grown up.
There was a lot of back and forth
between them, but it didn't work.
They split.
Now my kids are grown up.
When she was single
I remember mom
sitting in her bed
on weekends
watching tennis on TV
a tub of Rocky Road in her lap
a big spoon in her racket hand,
it was Wimbledon in July,
the manicured green,
players in all-white,
Gentlemen and Ladies,
royals in the stands,
strawberries and cream,
the overcast dreariness
and constant rain delays.
Mom dated quite a bit
after dad left
but eventually gave up
never found her
perfect match.
I wonder if she ever
really thought it possible.
4 comments:
I like the use of tennis as a metaphor for a relationship. The visual structure of the poem, of course, also adds to the effect. Not sure if you consciously included all the sweet stuff in the poem (ice cream, strawberries and cream, etc.) ... the poem is very much bittersweet.
Consider cutting the last two lines. Ending with "match" would have been more appropriate, I think.
Every word in a poem is intentional of course! What it intends, is another question altogether. As for the last lines, I felt it was necessary to bring the poem back to me (like tennis, the poem is really a game between me and mom, more than mom and dad), and to add something that’s open-ended. Ending it with ‘perfect match’ I thought would have been too pat. But I’ll certainly think about it.
This poem is nostalgic and bittersweet. Easy to visualize with your styling. Needs a bit of tightening; the beginning, “It’s a..” should be tightened up; possessive words are better expressed differently. You began an idea with “Now my kids are grown up” and didn’t continue the thought. The line sits there, unfinished. I like the last line, but at the same time, ending it with “perfect match” fits better. Overall, the poem pulls in the reader; personal, evocative, a relationship captured in a few lines. Good job!
Visual, evocative poem. Poem pulls the reader into the situation, the entire relationship captured in a few lines with a ball bouncing back and forth, the Wimbledon whites, looking longingly at the TV set. The beginning could be tightened it; “it’s” is a bit careless. You begin a thought with “Now my kids are grown up” with no follow-through. The line hangs in the air. The last verse is good, captures the spirit and should be in the poem, but I think ending it with “perfect match” would be better; it wouldn’t be too “pat”. Bittersweet poem. Good stuff!
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