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Married thirty-three years.
Thirty three years of talking,
rehashing the same old conversation
in different words and tones.
Starts with
I want…
and ends with I feel…
In between there are pauses,
like pugilists to their corners.
We’ve been talking less and less lately,
my wife and I.
As if it’s taken thirty-three years
for the conversation to wind down,
realizing that all the back and forth
was really shadowboxing,
learning The Sweet Science.
And when you’re evenly matched
and gone the distance, as we have,
bruised, swollen, sweaty and exhausted
from gut-punches,
upper-cuts,
right hooks,
left hooks,
there comes a point when
you fall into each other’s arms:
Then time reverses,
you stand there, surrounded by well-wishers,
wrists held by a bow-tied man centre ring
under lighted canopy,
await the ceremonial chime of a bell
and fateful words:
We have a decision.
Hugs of congratulations,
and consolation.
You've done your best,
given everything you have,
held nothing back.
6 comments:
Marriage as a boxing match ... terrific metaphor! And you milk it for all it's got ... with the variety of punches, and the bow-tied referee holding up the hands of both of the fighters. Marriage is indeed a battle where you give it "everything you have" and "hold nothing back". I also kept thinking that perhaps "talking" is a euphemism for sex ... which, if you read the poem that way, also works quite well!
I gotta admit I wasn't thinking of a euphemism for talking, but I can see it (it was probably there subconsciously of course). Front of mind was actually talking, or the lack of it. And it was also probably influenced by two other things. Watching The Harder They Fall this past weekend, which was Humphrey Bogart's last film and well worth watching if you haven't seen it. One of his better performances in my view. A swan song of sorts. And also, strangely, the media frenzy over the Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce matrimonial spectacle. Who rents out Madison Square Garden to get married? Who has so many family and friends? And why does anyone care? Wait until they realize that this it was only the weigh-in for a 15-round championship bout. Round one is coming up, when the two combattants start feel each other out, judging movement, rhythm and distance... then the fun really starts.
The Harder They Fall -- great movie! I'd watch Bogart in anything, but I agree that this last film of his, in which, if I remember correctly, he is a sportswriter turned fight promoter who starts out corrupt but in the end (typical for Bogart) does the right thing. Regarding T&T (as they are called), my wife asked me the a few days ago "How long do you think their marriage will last?" ... to which I answered ...
I’d put money on it not lasting 5 years, if I were a gambler, which as you’ve now read, I’m not.
Interesting take on marriage as a boxing match. I wonder if a woman would think of defining it that way. Certainly there is the give-and-take of marriage that these days many couples seem to be unaware of; life is supposed to be about getting it MY way, all the time, and RIGHT - not the work to get to it - to be happy.
About T&T: I have a theory about marriages: the longer it takes to plan a wedding, the less likely it is to succeed. The more elaborate the wedding - w/exceptions, of course - the less likely it is to succeed (couple might stay together, but will they be content?). Part of it is that the lead-up to the wedding and the day itself is so exciting that real life is bound to be a come-down. T&T: I wish them a happy and life-long marriage💞(but I give them three years😢).
Interesting theory on the relationship between wedding prep time and marriage duration. It certainly works in my case, three months between making the decision and standing under the chuppah. Still married after 33 years. I hate to ask but how long did it take to plan your wedding. I was under the impression it was a quick turn arround.
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